New parents in New York City are busy with daycare waitlists, pediatrician visits, and the cost of a two-bedroom. Estate planning feels like something for later — for wealthy or older people. It is exactly the opposite. For a young family, the most urgent question is not taxes. It is: who raises and protects your children if you cannot?
Scenario: the couple who never named a guardian
Sofia and Marco, parents of a toddler and an infant in Astoria, have no will. They assume “the family will figure it out.” If both were in an accident, no document names who should raise their children. A New York Surrogate’s Court would decide, possibly amid disagreement between two sets of grandparents — one in Queens, one out of state. A simple will naming a guardian would have spared their children that uncertainty at the worst possible moment.
Naming a guardian — the single most important step
In your will (EPTL §3-2.1) you can nominate a guardian for your minor children. The court gives great weight to that choice. Name a primary and a backup, talk to them first, and consider practical realities — location, age, values, and whether they can handle the responsibility. This one provision is the heart of a young family’s plan.
Don’t leave money to a child outright
Here is a trap many young parents fall into. If you name your young child directly on a life insurance policy or in a basic will, a minor cannot legally receive or manage that money. The court may impose a guardianship over the funds, and the child receives everything outright at 18 — rarely the right age for a lump sum.
The solution is a trust for minors under New York trust law (EPTL Art. 7). You can:
- Hold the money for the children’s benefit, paying for housing, education, and health along the way.
- Name a trustee you trust to manage funds — who can be different from the guardian who provides day-to-day care.
- Set staggered ages for distribution, so a child receives portions over time rather than all at 18.
A revocable living trust can also keep assets out of Surrogate’s Court probate and create privacy for the family.
Plan for incapacity, not just death
Young families often overlook what happens if a parent is alive but unable to act — after a serious accident or illness. Two documents close that gap:
- A durable power of attorney (GOL §5-1513): lets a trusted person manage finances and pay the mortgage on your Brooklyn apartment if you are incapacitated.
- A health care proxy (Public Health Law Art. 29-C): lets someone make medical decisions for you when you cannot.
For a busy NYC couple, these ensure bills get paid and decisions get made without a court proceeding.
Make sure life insurance actually fits the plan
Life insurance is often the largest asset a young family has. Direct the proceeds into the children’s trust rather than to a minor directly, and update beneficiaries after each birth or major life change so the policy works with — not against — your will.
Consult a New York attorney
Estate planning for a young family is really parenting planning. A New York attorney can help you name guardians, set up trusts for your children, and put incapacity documents in place — so that whatever happens, your kids are cared for by the people and on the terms you chose.
Have a question about your estate?
Talk it through with Russel Morgan — free 30-minute consult.

